Days 10-15: Balance

Days 10-14 honestly flew right by.

Day 10 seems to have been pretty uneventful, with the exception of the fact that I scored a meeting with the city about my Superheroes of Trash citywide cleanup event idea. So excited for this!

I had a lot of errands to run on Day 15, which normally is a point of stress (I do not really like city driving and dealing with shopping traffic.) Luckily, I didn’t have to work my normal Thursday 8-11am shift, so I got to get a head start on my errands. I did some clothes shopping at Target, but didn’t buy too much, but was feeling happy about the way things are hanging on my body again. I’m back to my “normal” overweight size, the most easily maintained (for me) weight I’ve been at since my big weight loss. I shouldn’t say weight actually, i should just say size. I did end up buying a scale at Target this day, for the point of motivation. Scales are tricky for me and can be points of obsession too, so I am just using this as a healthy gauge of progress. I WILL not let the scale rule me! Especially while I delve deeper into my yoga practice and build muscles that will replace fat, but weigh more.

I finally got the yoga gloves I’ve been wanting too. I got a 60 minute yoga session in before it was time to get prettied up for my dear friend Khym C‘s book reading. We got the store all dolled up too. Danger tended bar. It was really awesome. I was feeling really antisocial though, as the whole event was conducted around food and drink, and I felt a disconnect from the crowd. It wasn’t easy and took a lot of energy out of me.

We’re meant for each other. You, me, and the cat. 🙂

Day 12 (Friday) was an amazing day for my self-confidence, my willpower, and my belief that the body can do anything. I did a Bikram yoga class at Ocean State Bikram Yoga. My FIRST bikram yoga. I LOVED LOVED LOVED the class. There were a few minutes, specifically when my head was below my heart, that I felt a little faint, so I sat those initial exercises out, but the heat was great and my body moved in ways I didn’t think I could. I completed the entire set, and felt engaged, fulfilled, and like I had a great workout – all while on a fast! I think the biggest thing that helped was not psyching myself up at the beginning that I COULDN’T do it because I was on a fast. Instead, I went in with the mindset that I would get something good out of the class either way, and that I was trying my hardest either way. But the body is amazing, and it never ceases to amaze me. I left the class feeling floaty and optimistic and literally just high on life. I wanted to write a post right afterwards to catch my giddy feelings, but I didn’t have time. I promise to do that next time, as well as a further review of the class and yoga style.

 

Day 14 came and my period hit me hard. My cramps were killing me, and my motivation to stay juicing went straight out the window. My body felt drained and depleted. It was said that I was extremely pail. I didn’t want to drink a green juice. I thought hard about what I was craving, and actually came across the idea that pineapple juice would be good, and take care of some of my cravings. I got some pineapple, red pepper, and jalapeno. Later I googled “juice to help menstrual cramps” and it turns out that pineapple is the first thing recommended! And fennel too, a juice I’ve been on a kick with lately. Crazy how my body told me that without me even my mind actually knowing it. Bromelain is an enzyme found in pineapple that one of its main functions is to slow blood clotting, this would encourage cramps to diminish as the flow is able to be more smooth. And as I was drinking the concoction with pineapple, fennel, celery, spinach, kale, and jalapeno, it literally felt like I was drinking a narcotic painkiller. It’s amazing what the body can accomplish when we our mind believes it can!

As Sunday went on, I started feeling better and better. So I got to doing some yoga. But I guess I pushed too hard. After a forward bend that lasted several deep breaths, I stood up slowly and got a pain in the side of my neck. Following the pain, I started seeing black very quickly and my heart started slowing down. I managed to make my way to the edge of the bed right as I was fainting. I stayed kind of with it, but could feel the energy drained from my face and body, and my heart started pounding SO hard. I felt pretty scared and embarrassed, because I know that its a cliche that people pass out during juice fasts and you’ll be depleted. HOWEVER – I want to be totally clear here that the juice fast alone did not contribute to my fainting… it was definitely because of menstruating and the yoga I was doing, with my head below my heart. Because remember, I did the bikram yoga on Friday before my period came and that was certainly much more intense than the practice I was doing at home during my period. Further research showed me that its not necessarily recommended for everyone to do inverted yoga positions during this time. So that makes sense.

I had some fermented daikon radish and kimchi on Sunday night, more solid food than I had at other times. It felt good to eat some food at this point.

I started the day Monday, day 15, with some juice. But I was still feeling like it might be time for me to begin eating some solid food. So I started with a small handful of cashews. I should have probably started with raw veggies or something, but I was just craving the healthy fats so badly. So I went with it.

After the cashews, I decided to try some miso soup. I made a big bowl with seaweed and mushrooms. It tasted great but I could only get a few mouthfuls in and then I was quite full.

 

This would mark the end of my juice fast. The tentative goal was 21 days, but 14 ended up being the right number this time around. I’ll have to keep this in mind the next time I try to schedule a long-term fast. My body is just not able to fast and menstruate at the same time. Some people, it might work, but for me – nope. I have endometriosis, and recently went off my birth control, so my period is back with a vengeance and it certainly is not a fun time. I’m accepting and dealing with the pain and working on natural remedies, but fasting is definitely out of the question for now.

So, I feel accomplished as hell for completing 14 days. Especially while working 12-14 hours a day during the fast, completing my first bikram class, and working in a grocery store with delicious food being served all the time. I even cooked 2 batches of healthy vegan chili during my fast for the store and resisted tasting it! And by the way I lost 21 pounds! I expect to gain a few back, that’ll be natural. I didn’t do the fast to lose “weight” but to lose “junk”. My body was literally too full, like I mentioned before.

It feels good to fit back in my skin again. It makes the idea of exercising and eating well a bit easier to grasp.

My body is my home, my temple. I vow to keep it clean.

 

(PS – I have written but not reread this post, so I apologize for any run on sentences, incomplete or repeated thoughts, or nonsense that it may contain. Welcome to the inner workings of my sidetracked brain.)